Posts Tagged ‘douchelord of the day’

Douchelord of the Day

Jon Gosselin could be the douchelord for so many reasons… but I crown him now for this heinous tattoo (photo from Radar Online):

I’ve read the book, and it is definitely NOT called The Man With the Dragon Tattoo. It is The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, she weighs about 120 pounds less than Jon Gosselin, and she is not into Ed Hardy. As a matter of fact, she’s around the age of Jon Gosselin’s latest girlfriends (early 20’s). He claims the tattoo is to signify how he’s making a change in his life. Unless he starts spending quality time with his children and not the children he dates and stops wearing Ed Hardy and tacky earrings, I won’t notice a change. Though I am sure we can all agree Kate is quite the ____, it doesn’t mean he has to be a douchelord of the day. That tattoo is awful. Thanks Jen for sending this quality photo to me, and thanks Jon Gosselin for being today’s douchelord of the day.

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Douchelord of the Day

Ke$ha. Anyone who has a $ sign in their name should automatically fall into douchey crowning glory, but it wasn’t until I was reminded of her “singing” today why she belongs right here. Ke$ha does not sing. She talks to the tune of music, and the reason I really can’t stand her? Her talk-singing music is catchy, gets stuck in my head, and I find myself slightly enjoying the horror and disdain that is her, single-handedly ruining singing as a profession. I don’t understand why she neglects to shower, dresses like a poor hooker, and pretends to be drunk all the time. I truly am appalled and yet amazed at the same time- how did she become famous?

supes classy

Did you know that when you Google search her, “Ke$ha is ugly” is one of the top auto-fill options? I have no idea what’s under that hot mess, but I kind of agree thus far. Ke$ha is desecrating on the sanctity of my ears and eyes, but I am singing her stuff anyway- FAIL. Enjoy being the Douchelord of the Day!

Update: please read Lara’s opinion on hot mess Ke$ha here at http://clarafications.wordpress.com/2010/06/24/kesha-needs-to-get-laid/

Douchelord of the Day

Oh heyyy Lori Michaels! Today you get the highest honor even though you deserved it on Monday (I’m behind, too much Mad Men marathoning).

I almost had to do a repeat offender and recrown Danielle Staub as my Douchelord of the Day, but I refrained. Instead, I decided to take the higher route and blame Lori Michaels for this latest Danielle mess. I don’t know what rock Lori has been hiding under for the past week, because I personally know that Danielle’s crooked boobs are everywhere on the internet/television, she is a terrible mom who treats her kids like friends, she rolls deep with thugs, and is generally a red flag waving type of disillusioned crazy. She is the leader of crazytown! So why why why would Lori Michaels want anything to do with her? I just don’t get it. You have to be a douchelord to pair up with her and write a song about being close and then sing it on Andy’s show (how much booze did he need to get through this episode?) live.  My favorite moment was when the camera panned away from the uncomfortably close duet to Andy’s face… priceless! Lori, if you don’t want to be a douchelord, stay away from this attention loving fake lesbian who has been engaged more times than she’s had her boobs adjusted which is possibly weirder than her “McDonald’s arches eyebrows” (Chelsea Handler). Do what’s best for yourself and your career, Lori, and I can assure you this has nothing to do with Danielle Staub. Please watch the lovely video here and let me know what you think.

xoxo Whitney J. Manson

Douchelord of the Day

PEREZ HILTON wins today’s douchelord of the day honors. I admit (rather shamefully) to reading his website, and sometimes I sort of giggle, but I’m equally appalled. He rags on Kristen Stewart incessantly, and quite frankly I’m bored of hearing it. The girl is awkward, so awkward, and you’re only making it worse by interpreting her lack of comfort with the media for being a brat. I don’t think she’s the best actress, but I don’t think she’s a total brat either- she just doesn’t enjoy being tracked every step of her life. Before Twilight, she’d acted but no one stalked her, and now she has no freedom. Then you proceed to call her a lesbian? If she is that’s her own business- so can you blame her for being annoyed? As a gay man all for gay rights, he should try giving people a little more respect with their own sexuality. I don’t think the media should out people… it just seems all types of wrong.

He isn’t so great with media or in person himself! And his morals seem a little skewed- posting photos of Miley’s crotch (she is a CHILD), Chuy from Chelsea Lately doing inappro things, and drawing *things* on all the photos he posts, along with cozying up to celebs and trashing them all at once.

Granted I poke fun at a lot of people on here too, but I think I do it in a little less offensive manner, no?

Douchelord of the Day

I guess in England there’s no room for plus-size models on Top Model or in life according to one of its judges, Julien Macdonald. His exact quote was:

“This is a serious show. You can’t have a plus-size girl winning — it makes it a joke. It’s not fair on them — you’re setting them up for a fall. I know what would happen to them. They are looked down on.”

Well, you know what Mr. Macdonald? No one likes your pink undershirt or receding hairline either. Plus-sized models are real people too, and they exist unlike unicorns. How would you know what would happen to them? You only hire the thinnest of thin models for yourself and thus the serious issue you’re neglecting is health. The average size is not a size 00 so just be quiet and keep your cruel thoughts to yourself!

Douchelord of the Day

This is a hilarious drawing of the lovely housewife of New Jersey Danielle Staub. However, she isn’t really a housewife since she is unmarried. The lady is insane… she should probably hang out with the wonderful people from other reality shows such as Heidi and Kelly Bensimon. Anyway, last season she was kind of hilarious. She seemed delusional, confused, but I still felt pity for her poor children whom she treated as her friends rather than children. This season, though, it’s going from hilarious to totally pathetic. Instead of thinking it is funny, I am beginning to think she’s really screwed up mentally in a way that is incredibly sad. She needs some serious help! She possibly has borderline personality disorder, which would explain her paranoia of everyone being out to get her and her constant need for attention, etc etc etc. No matter what the other women do, be it leave her alone at an event at their place of business or politely decline an invitation to the banquet she threw herself for her daughter Christine’s magazine cover (way to steal the spotlight, Danielle Staub!), she creates a mad frenzy about herself. I love how she surrounds herself with felons and hit men just in case someone might attack her at a charity function to benefit a sick child. Making it all about Danielle and randomly bringing 10 extra people for defense isn’t crazy at all. Then the lady goes out and releases a terrifying sex tape herself? She has two kids! That makes her the douchelord of the day… for being one of the worst moms I’ve ever seen.

-Whitney Manson

Douchelord of the Day

She’s just bein’ Miley. Miley Cyrus cannot be tamed, insults her boyfriend on the regular, and spews out intelligent comments like this:

“I listen to zero pop music, which is really weird for someone who makes pop music. My 13-year-old self would have beaten up my 17-year-old self because she would be like, ‘You’re a sellout!’ But that’s not what it is. It’s not dance music that’s just about, ‘Ooh, I’m in the club and everyone’s looking at me.’ It means something. I’m not just sitting here trying to sell glitz and glamour… because no one lives that life. A lot of [pop] songs are super shallow, but this music isn’t.” -Miley Cyrus for Billboard Magazine

Darling, your music is worse than super shallow, minus The Climb, and while sometimes I appreciate it (hello Party in the USA), your music is pop and you are a pop artist so you probably shouldn’t diss pop music, Britney Spears, and Jay-Z. Miley Cyrus would do a lot better for herself if she just didn’t talk, like ever.

Douchelord of the Day

Oh Chace Crawford, you are certainly the douchelord of the day. Chace got arrested merely a few miles from my parents’ house in Texas, which makes me really proud of him. Apparently he was lighting up something illegal in a car and got caught. Anyone with half a brain would probably think lighting up in a car was a bad choice, so that makes him the Douchelord of the Day. I would still visit him in prison, look at those eyes. That great hair! That face, that DNA. I love him anyway. I’m still hoping to run into him sometime in the Big D…

❤ Whitney Manson

Douchelord of the Day

Homewrecker

Today’s Douchelord of the Day is clearly Rachel Uchitel (emphases on the uch=yuuck). Rachel has ruined 2 marriages so far in the past 6 months, and hopefully she will discontinue her whomewrecking ways sometime… but then again a leopard doesn’t usually change its spots, and she clearly has a thing for married famous men. So married men, beware of this disgusting lady’s advances. She will ask you for hush money and is armed with a permanent lawyer, infamous Gloria Allred. I know you’re supposed to blame the man and all, but this witch is scary looking and clearly into these things for the hush money. Nothing like being blackmailed by a woman who is going to use her money for more plastic surgery!

-Whitney Manson