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Don’t Take Life Too Seriously.
If you speak sarcasm, you will definitely appreciate the comments on this blog post. Also, Lara’s blog cLARAfications in general is absolutely hilarious so read it all the time. I do.
Furry Walls
Everyone knows I love a good comedy, and while nothing has looked that as exciting as Role Models and The Hangover, I changed my mind. Please go out and see Get Him to the Greek. This movie was absolutely hysterical. I laughed so hard that my mother got embarrassed, but it was really that funny. It made about $18 million over the course of the weekend. Russell Brand is riiiidiculous in the film. Though Jonah Hill has clearly been eating all of Michael Cera’s food, he did a great job throwing up on camera and playing the adoring fan with responsibilities. P. Diddy/ Sean Combs/ Puff Daddy was in it, Meredith Viera, and there was even a cameo from Draco Malfoy (accompanied by a great Harry Potter joke). I also learned that if you smoke a Jeffrey, you have to stroke furry walls. Get yourself to a theater to see Get Him to the Greek now.
-Whitney J. Manson
It’s Official- My Car is a Target
Please cut me off. Please nail my mirror. 3x.
Would you hit my front end?
I came out from work today to find my mirror hit for the THIRD time since I’ve been here. Ironically, it was the passenger window, and I parallel parked. How does that even work? Who the heck nails a mirror from the sidewalk? A biker? Well, it happened, and I was mad. Then I sat in an hour of traffic, got cut off 3 more times by some rude people, and wasn’t allowed to be in my lane because people don’t know how to merge into your lane/ won’t even look over bc she’s self-important on her cell and aims to hit me. Then to end things I got stuck in an intersection because I couldn’t turn left because I had to wait for all the people running the right light to go through before I could finish my turn so a man yelled at me. I flipped him off. What am I supposed to do- sit there until I get t-boned? No thanks.
All in all, I am 100% sure Miami is home to the worst drivers in America. Congrats.
My Cheater’s Handbook to Wine
I’ll be very honest with you- when it comes to wine, I honestly have very little knowledge about wine brands. I like red (woo antioxidants= great excuse for drinking it), Pinot Grigio, and I like it cheap. I wish there was a mathematic proof to show me how to pick wine, but alas it does not exist. However, here is my foolproof guide to the cheater’s way I pick out wine… I have yet to pick a bad bottle!
- Determine your price range. Do you feel like splurging today? Is it a party? Is this a gift for someone? Asking yourself some simple questions before you walk in and get overwhelmed is always a good choice. Set some boundaries for yourself. Like really, you don’t need a $40.00 on a random Tuesday. Trust me, you don’t.
- Determine what color and type you want- white or red? Dry or sweet? What are you pairing it with? Reds go with red meat, whites go with fish and chicken, and if you’re like me you often ignore this factor because reds are just better.
- Find Your Red Wine Type: a light red wine is Beaujolais Nouveau, a popular French wine, that will go with any kind of meal. A medium body red wine has more tannins- Merlot, Shiraz, and Chianti all fall into this category. A full-bodied red wine is a Bordeaux or a Cabernet Sauvignon. The more tannins, the fuller the body, and the stronger in alcohol content.
- Or Your White Wine Type: Rieslings tend to be sweet and refreshing, Moscato is a dessert wine, Chardonnay is dry, and Sauvignon Blanc goes with all vegetables, Thai and Italian food, and is light to medium. My personal favorite, Pinot Grigio, is light, crisp, and has smooth overtones. Delicious.
- After these questions, research wine sales online. This tactic is a fabulous way to find wine without crashing your budget. Often liquor stores do 2-4-1 specials and even my local grocery store too. Once you find a deal that sounds good, head out and test it out! I often find myself browsing staff picks and points at grocery stores to help as well. If you download the Cor.kz application for your iPhone, you can SCAN barcodes to determine more information about the wine bottle! This is really fun to play with, and I highly recommend it for someone like me who does not know much about brands.
Happy Mother’s Day
Happy Mother’s Day! I believe this photo was from my birthday at Disneyland (the last time I went there). Thanks to my mother for putting up with me and my 10000000 of random thoughts and complaints, answering the phone around 5:30 PM daily, being there for me, and raising me to be a mini-version of herself. I am pretty darn lucky. I would also like to say Happy Mother’s Day to Minerva too- she is like my second mother. When I was little and mine left town, she made sure I did my homework and even brushed and styled my hair. So they’re both awesome and so are moms in general. Dog moms and cat moms count too!
The Perfect Pet: A Micro Pig
Micro pigs are the latest new pet fad. If you have yet to hear about them, I will teach you a lot right now! Paris Hilton, the Beckhams, and Rupert Grint (from Harry Potter) own them already, and many stars have been ordering them too. Add me to that list, please!
Micro pigs are called such because they are smaller than your standard pig. They weigh only nine ounces at birth and are literally the size of a teacup. They are basically the tiniest, most precious looking pigs you could imagine! The photos of the baby piglets in their various shapes and colors won me over. There are pink pigs, spotted pigs, and completely black pigs. I Google searched the term “micro pig” and enjoyed browsing the entire image section. If you are currently bored, I highly recommend doing this too. If you have a heart, you will probably fall in love and dream about micro pigs. Or maybe that’s just me and my strange obsession.
Anyway, these pigs grow up to be about 12-16 inches tall, and they will only weigh 45-60 pounds. To compare, the pigs are just about the size of a medium to large dog.
Another plus with these cute creatures is that they are completely allergy free. The pigs do not have fur, so they don’t have dander. Additionally, pigs are one of the smartest, cleanest animals and are easily potty-trained. The pigs are technically a cross breed of Miniature Pot Bellied pigs and Gloucester Old Spot. The piglets enjoy toys, their owners, and cuddling just like dogs! They don’t need as much as exercise or daily walks as dogs, but you can take them out if you want. I can just picture myself walking around the neighborhood with my piglet and puppy now.
But nothing can be quite so perfect, right? When you buy a micro pig, you have to make sure the owner is not duping you into buying a pig that hasn’t had a growth spurt yet. The real micro pigs are inbred repeatedly to miniature their size, which leads to deformities and inherited negative traits and health problems. Did I fail to mention their astronomical price? The pigs are upwards of $1,200, hard to get in America, and you have to be sure that your neighborhood allows the proper zoning for the pigs. You don’t want to get your precious Wilbur taken away from you after all the money you forked over for him!
I guess it’ll be a while until I get a micro pig… if I get one at all.
Drinking on a Diet
No matter how much people diet, they want that glass of wine. They can give up sweets and fried foods, but when it comes to that glass of wine… that’s where they have met their match. Well, you can have your cake (or drink) and eat it too. Just drink using your brain instead of a foggy drunk mind! When it comes to dieting and drinking, here are the best and worst choices.
The worst: As a general rule, the darker the beer, the worse it is for you. When it comes to wine, it is hard to tell, but port wine is highest in calories overall. Champagne is loaded with sugar and margaritas can pack a huge punch too, with about 250 calories in each one. And beware: each shot of hard alcohol is 100 calories! Liqueurs are even worse, and don’t forget- a lot of calories hide in the mixers you use.
The best: Budweiser Select 55 is the best beer with the largest amount of alcohol and the fewest calories around. The best kind of wine you should reach for on a diet is actually a glass of chardonnay, which is around only 90 calories. When it comes to mixed drinks, there are actually a lot more options than you’d think. Two of the easiest drinks are vodka and soda with fresh-squeezed lime and rum and diet cola. If you like sweet drinks or Sprite, use Crystal Light instead. It is a great guilt-free disguise when added to vodka and water. You can even bring the packets with you to bars if you are afraid you will be tempted by the availability of juice. All three of those drinks are only 100 calories each. If you want something with more flavor, try a low-calorie mojito by using soda water, fresh-squeezed lime, muddled mint leaves, Stevia instead of sugar, and clear rum. As a rule, always choose alcohol with diet soda rather than juice, and if you REALLY want a margarita on your diet, use the recipe below from the “Skinny Girl Margarita”:
- 2 oz of clear Tequila
- The juice from 4 lime wedges
- A splash of Cointreau, Grand Marnier, or Triple Sec
Happy drinking! Find more “Skinny Girl” drink recipes on Bethenny Frankel’s website.
Smell Nice Without Sneezing
I am obsessed with my perfume for a multitude of reasons, but one of my favorite aspects of it is that it’s not made of fillers. LAVANILA LABORATORIES prides themselves on being all natural and eco-friendly. The brand does not perform animal testing or have harsh chemicals. For someone who has a ton of allergies, this is completely ideal! I have been told to avoid perfumes and certain cosmetics because they are filled with parabens, mineral oils, petrochemicals, synthetic dyes, sulfates, silicone, and chemical sunscreens. LAVANILA products have none of these!
If you are sensitive to a lot of things or just really like vanilla, please try out their products that come in a multitude of vanilla-infused scents- you can get them at Sephora or on their website. Read more and purchase here on LAVANILA‘s website.
Bows, Boots, & Blue 
